My grand-mother was around 50 years of age when I was born. Since I was little, I have never known her to not be busy, to not be in a position of responsibility, to not be making big plans for some venture. So, I was surprised when I grew a little older to learn that her parents had denied her permission to get a college education - girls in India those days were, by and large, only allowed a school education. Inna had stoutly resisted of course, and many protestations and a hunger-strike after, she was allowed. After she finished her first degree, she was marshalling her powers of persuasion to obtain permission to study further when her parents decided enough was most definitely enough and got her married - to my grand-father.
I was also befuddled to learn that for about the first 20 years of her marriage, Inna was a house-wife. By all accounts, she kept a model home and provided a stable and supportive environment for my grand-father to excel in his career. Then, at about 45 years of age, she launched her own career. She trained in art and began producing paintings with a distinctive theme - Jesus in Indian contexts. I remember her paintings from when I was young - the firm but graceful lines of her sketches, the understated but confident colours, the feminity and poise of the female subjects in her paintings. And then, there was Jesus - manifestly human but clearly displaying the most divine qualities; humility, gentleness, love...
At about the same time she started painting, she also started an Interior Decoration business and soon gained a city-wide reputation for her creative but professional style of decoration. She also assumed some management roles - she was made Secretary of a Women's Vocational Training Centre and substantially enhanced its profile. A bit later, she also became involved in a number of social work initiatives.
30 years on and she has lost none of her enthusiasm. In the course of these 30 years, her artist career has blossomed - people in possession of her paintings include the Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury. Her penchant for management has also opened up major avenues for her. About 12 years back, she conceptualised and oversaw the building of an Arts & Science College funded by the Church of South India. Under her stewardship, the Institute has grown by leaps and bounds and is now considered one of the best in Coimbatore. Recently, she also provided the impetus to start a Teacher's Training Institute, also funded by the Church. She has also encouraged a number of social work initiatives - a major project on rehabilitation of women prisoners, another on providing basic education to children on the fringes of Coimbatore. And 3 years back, at the age of 75, she embarked on her PhD on Women Studies...
But the reason I admire is her is something far more valuable than mere accomplishments - I admire her wisdom. To hear her express an opinion is to hear the result of years of careful consideration. The sense that she is saying something precious is almost tangible. Often, I have come away feeling consciously enhanced after listening to her.
I have learnt a lot by observing her people-centred attitude to life - on many occasions, she has waived fees for poor students and enabled them to get an education. Once, when one of her office staff was found stealing, she admonished him, forgave him and offered him a second chance. A student from her college once told me that the reason he has great affection for her is that, even though she is strict, he could clearly see that it was out of concern for him.
Humility is also a characteristic of her interactions with her God and with other people - she refers to God as avare (a term of respect for an elder); one of her closest friends in our church is a 12-year old girl called Percys. Her opinions are unfailingly balanced - when I was excitedly jabbering on about India's unprecedented economic growth, she quietly pointed out to me that almost half of all Indians were below the poverty and that our attitude should always be tempered by this reality. When I was self-righteously expounding to her that individuals should be concerned with fulfulling their responsibilities rather than availing of their rights, she punctured my argument by explaining how both rights and responsibilities should be honoured in a model society.
Her most distinctive quality however, is the way she enjoys the simple things in life. She takes great delight in even the simplest of jokes, especially when made by one of her grand-children. On family outings, to ice-cream parlours for example, she is usually the most excited. She firmly believes that one should learn to enjoy novel experiences - I once remember her telling me I should enjoy the novelty of having a cold in the summer! The most recent occasion that I saw her enjoying life's little pleasures came on the last day of my holiday in India. We were all going to the beach just near our resort and I persuaded her to come along because I thought she'd enjoy it. After leading her to the sea-shore, I became occupied talking to my cousins, but turned back a little later to see her standing just close enough to the water to get her feet wet. I smiled to myself but didn't think much of it at the time. Three weeks later, I had come back to the UK and received a birthday card from her. After wishing me a Happy Birthday, she had written, "I thank you for persuading me to go to the beach on the final day of our holiday. I had the joy of standing near the waves after so many years. Thank you my precious grandson Nitin! - Your loving Inna"
