Mitha

Below is the unedited text of my Toast to Mitha at her wedding. I worked very hard on it and so, it was most gratifying that it was well appreciated.

"Hi everybody. To those who don’t know me, I’m Nitin, Mitha’s brother.

As some of you know, as part of my Toast, I created a wordle of Mitha – a wordle is a picture summarising words from a list where the size of the words varies according to how often it occurs in the list. For this, I messaged each of her FB friends, asking them to get back to me with 1 word that they think describes Mitha best. I then created a list of the words and put it into a wordle generating software and what I got was this!
(show Wordle)

The first thing I thought when I saw the newly generated wordle was that it was worth the effort generating it…because I think it describes Mitha’s personality very very well.

There are many things you can read about Mitha’s personality from the wordle, but most of all, I think it shows:

i. what a people-person she is – the most common words are adorable, bubbly,
cheerful, sweet, vivacious
ii. how much fun she is to have around (how much she adds to social settings she
is part of)– size of words like entertaining, fun, happy, hilarious, jolly, crazy.

so yes, I think the wordle gives us a better idea of Mitha’s personality than I could ever give.

But as a tool to understanding Mitha’s personality, I think the wordle has one limitation. It gives us an idea of Mitha’s personality right now but it doesn’t show you how Mitha’s personality has evolved over the years and this is where I feel I can offer something that the wordle can’t.

So, from my experience, I would say that if we split Mitha’s life into 3 stages – childhood, adolescence and early adulthood, we would have three personalities which had a lot in common but also had a lot of differences.

Stage 1 – childhood

So, if we saw her in her childhood, I think we would see a very cute baby girl, but also a baby girl who knew what she wanted and how to get it! To illustrate this, I have brought a letter she wrote to Santa when she was around 6.

The letter starts with, “Dear Santa, I would like to thank you for the stuff you got me last Christmas. I really appreciate it, especially the boots”

But the next paragraph is the most amusing…she says “ What I would like for this Christmas are listed below and as usual, I give you 11 items and a choice of 8. (pause)…and then, she guides Santa about which items to choose, saying, “There are 3 main items which I hope you can get, especially the jeans” (show page 1of letter)

As you can see, she then goes on to list the items (in blue) –

She seems to really want jeans - the first item is “as many pairs of jeans as possible” in brackets, at least more than 5!! And this is 1 item !! and by now, she has decided that Santa doesn’t have a choice with this item, so in brackets, she writes in the spelling of a 6 year old, ‘compulsory’ !

So, now you know what I mean when I say she knew how to get what she wanted…

The letter ends with her making sure she keeps Santa on good terms (show page 2 of letter)

She says “I hope what I asked for is not too much (oh yes, it is!!). Hope you have a great Christmas”

Stage 2 – adolescence

Anyway, if we fast-forwarded to her adolescence, I think we would see a quite different person. At this age, I think the quality that best described her creativity. She deliberately set out to create her own style and everything she did had the stamp of her unique personality on it – whether it was the way she dressed, the way she decorated her room, her taste in music, the way she spoke, even the way she prayed!

Stage 3 – early adulthood

But again, I think if we fast-forwarded to her adulthood, we would see quite a different person. Although her uniqueness is still part of her personality, it is not the most prominent. For the past 3-4 years, I think the quality that best describes her is ‘other-peopleness’ and I think this has something to do with the fact that, in this time, she has gotten closer and closer to God.

For the past few years, she has been always warm, always encouraging, always patient, always understanding, always selflessly putting the interests of others above herself. To me, the depth and consistency of her love for others is clear a sign as any, of how God is in her and working through her.

Toast

So, that brings me to the toast. Today, she enters the 4th stage of her life – her married life. This stage is significant in 2 ways. One is, it such an important stage that we all gather together to usher her into this stage. But perhaps even more importantly, it is the only stage where we get to give something small back to this girl who has selflessly given us so much, by toasting to her happiness. So, let us not let this moment pass us by. Let us fully realise the poignancy of the moment and with feeling, toast to her health, happiness and marital bliss.

I hereby propose the toast! (check up specifics of how to do this)"